Content warning: this case study includes topics of suicide, suicidal thoughts, abuse and trauma. Please take care when reading and reach out for support if needed.
Charlotte Lay, 33, attempted suicide in 2019.
She hopes that sharing her story will help others understand that they’re not alone, and that help is out there. She wants to encourage everyone to do what they can to check in with their loved ones and know that just being present and empathic can be enough to break a crisis.
Charlotte’s story is told in her own words.
I’ve struggled with my mental health for a long time, starting in my teenage years with trauma from an abusive relationship. I live with major depressive disorder, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and borderline personality disorder.
The day of my suicide attempt, I don’t know exactly what triggered it, but it was an impulsive decision. I was on my way to work at a community nursing home in Bingley. I had my uniform on, got on the train, fully prepared for work, but something didn’t feel right. When I got off the train I just sat down on the platform. The conductor asked if I was okay and I said yes. Sensing something was off he asked again if I was sure and I said yes and the train drove away. While sitting there, I made the impulsive decision to jump from the platform.
I walked down the tracks and sat down, waiting. I'm unsure who raised the alarm about my presence but when the next train came, it slowed and stopped far from me. Little did I know, they were already aware that I was on the lines. A man got off the train and started walking towards me and I remember thinking, “What do I do now? This isn’t what was supposed to happen. I’m going to be in so much trouble.”
I started panicking.
The driver of the train approached and said, “Hello, my name’s Dave. Are you having a bad day?” - I replied with a nod. He said, “Ok, let’s sit here. There are no trains running, everything’s blocked. So we can just sit here safely until it feels right for you, and we’ll just talk it out.” And that’s exactly what we did, we sat and talked. Most of the conversation from what I can remember was about mundane things and about both our lives but it was enough to break the crisis. Life didn't feel as heavy anymore.
The driver asked several times if I felt ready to get on the train so he could get me safely into the station. I was reluctant because I was afraid everyone would stare at me. He reassured me that it would be okay and eventually I got onto the train and he drove me into the platform. By that time, the police had arrived, and were waiting for me. The police took me away and put me in contact with the local mental health services.
The next day, I made it my mission to find the man who had been so kind to me. Through Facebook and some colleagues of his, I found him.
Now, he’s my husband - we got married whilst I was 22 weeks pregnant!
I once asked him if he’d ever had any de-escalation training, because he was brilliant that day. He told me he hadn’t. He simply said all the things he wished he could’ve said to others before me, people he never got the chance to speak to.
It’s been 5 years now, and things are a lot better but I still have bad days. I’m a mum of 3 now, two of which are Dave's children, and work at Airedale Hospital in Bradford. I’ve worked there since October 2019; I got the job two weeks after I attempted suicide. The job felt like it was meant for me. It felt like I was still here for a reason, that I was supposed to go on and work at Airedale.
I’m still receiving support for my mental health and I think I always will. But I’m so grateful to Dave for stopping that day and being so patient and understanding.
I hope that by sharing my story, people will realise that although it would be an ideal world if we all had specialist training to deal with a mental health crisis - we are all capable of helping just by just being empathic and present human beings. It's time we gave mental health the same respect and care we give physical problems."
West Yorkshire Health and Care Partnership is committed to reducing suicide rates across the region, aiming for a minimum 10% reduction over the next 5 years. This World Mental Health Day, we encourage everyone to:
- Check in with friends and family: Reach out and ask how they’re feeling. If someone seems low, guide them to local resources like suicidepreventionwestyorkshire.co.uk.
- Take the Zero Suicide Alliance training: This free 20-minute online course teaches you how to talk to people about suicide.
If you or someone you know is struggling, support is available. Call NHS 111 if you are experiencing a crisis.
You can also call the Samaritans on 116 123, or if in immediate danger, dial 999. Visit suicidepreventionwestyorkshire.co.uk for more information.